This One's For YOU Dad!

Disclaimer: The following photos have been displayed at the request of Mindyn Gunderson (McCurdy). The writers of River Nomads have had no part in and no influence or opinion (except that's it's SO funny!) of what you are about to see.

A retainer. Designed by Mindyn and made by her dentist. Just for you Dad :)

NOTE to MEGHAN!!

Read the text!! Don't just look at the pictures!!

Lamaze and Thai Food

Hello out there. I just got off an overnight trip with my friend Richard. We had a family of Italians and a married couple. Richard is a funny guy. To be honest, not too many people can handle Richard. He's a control freak and quick to start yelling at anyone and anything that gets in his way. But - He is an awesome storyteller and believe it or not, has a fantastic sense of humor.

Anyway, we're on this trip, Richard is rowing the gear boat and I'm rowing the passenger boat. At some point downriver someone asks me "What's for dinner?" and I tell them: Suculant Salmon with pesto, garlic bread, Greek salad and buttery corn on the cob. Many Oohs and Aaahs. Yum.

Richard and I both have been looking forward to this dinner for 24 hours. The day before we went shopping for the food and when we picked up the salmon, we both looked at each other and said "Let's get extra!!" After all day rowing it was getting to be all I could think about.

Around 5:00pm we had beached and set up camp and started prepping dinner. I was just about to slice another tomato when Richard comes up beside me, his back to the guests, and whispered to me "We have a problem . . ." what. "There is NO salmon." I froze and we just stared at each other for a full minute. I wanted to burst out laughing, but had to hold it because he looked SO peeved at himself for not remembering to pack it. Finally he broke the silence. "I'm looking to you for help. I don't know what to do!" And that's when I busted. First a smile cracked and then immense giggling.

The Richard! Who knows all things and always gets everything right, ROYALY screwed up and is begging me to think of some brilliant thing! I looked at what we had and a half hour later between fits of snickering and laughter, we ended up creating very tastey salad wraps.

As for right now . . . I'm trying to eat some Thai food I picked up. On the phone she asked me "How hot?" and I said, "Uhh . . . Medium" Which apparently means so hot your eyeballs sweat and mini-fireballs burst out your mouth. I'd run to the fridge and drink some milk to cool it all off, but I don't have internet - so I'm stuck at the library performing a special Lamaze. The kind used for super-spicy Thai Food. It's new. I found it on the internet.

7 Ingredients to Good Times in Moab

My best friend Mindyn and her husband Clint came to visit last weekend. Really though, if you added all the hours together, it was only like a day and a half, including sleep. So we had to have fun quick. No problem. Here's how you do it:
FIRST: Make sure you go to Zax and take part in their All-You-Can-Eat Pizza. Make sure you each have 15 slices. One of each kind and then one more of your favorite.



SECOND: Find a suitable rafting company. I recommend using Canyon Voyages.
Then make sure you rent the smallest raft they have. We rented one called the Mini-Me. Niiiiice.

THIRD: Wait until twilight to start drifting on the Colorado River. Don't forget to look around and enjoy the scenery!! (Concentrating on your paddling techniques is over rated).






FOURTH: It is always good to become one with the river. Swimming is a must. If you don't surrender yourself to her, the river may take you by force!!






FIFTH: If at any time your guide seems anxious - it is your nerves fooling your perception; or if your guide is suddenly missing from the boat through a rapid - he/she is swimming or testing the water temperature. NEVER, EVER, EVER, question your guide. They are always on top of their game, so don't worry!




SIXTH: If you are on a time constraint or would like to take the rental boat back in one piece be sure to avoid all rocks. Sometimes in very rare cases this is unavoidable. In such cases, all boat crew must implement the well known dance "The Bunny Hop".




SEVENTH: Finally, it is wisest to time the trip so all rapids will be run during some degree of sunlight to prevent such mishaps as the "Bunny Hop", Dumptrucking, Flips, Highsiding, and Marooning.



By following these tips, you and your best friend and her spouse will have a rafting trip they will never forget nor reenact. Ever.

Oh Yeah. And on your way out, stop by Arches National Park really quick.

Yes, this super bright lizard was actually in the desert!

Love you Dyn & Clint!!!! Thanks for coming down!

The Trip My Parents Promised Each Other "This Will Be Our Last Time Visiting Fawn & Mike."

My parents came out to Moab to see our first house! Dad had never been to Moab before, so I wanted to show him all there was to offer (Mom's first visit was about 2 months ago). Naturally I wanted them to experience it all. This is one of those times when I have promptly forgotten how those approaching their silver years might not be into mountain biking for 2-3 hours, white water rafting levels 3 and 4, rigorous hiking through slots and caverns for 3+ hours, trekking precarious paths just to find some old dinosaur footprints, Off-Roading while receiving free chiropractic care on the neck and spine in the backseat of a 4-Runner (sorry Meghan, but your car is in good shape), rock climbing sheer cliffs, and base jumping. So . . . we only did MOST of those things.

I had signed them up for a West Water Canyon trip, so on their first day here we got them up early and drove out to West Water. The trip was through the company I work with so there were about 20 other people going too. We worked it out so my parents and I could be on the same boat as my good friend Richard and we'd both row the canyon.

My favorite part about the bus ride up was one of the guests (from New Jersey) several rows in front of my parents and I, asking Richard, " So, are there a lot of mormons in Moab?" RICHARD: "Mmm, no. Not very many actually."

(*FACT* - there are 6, count 'em SIX wards in Moab!! That's plenty for a small town. Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica.)

IGNORANT GUEST: "That's what I thought because we've been here for a few days and I haven't really seen any . . . I mean I'm not sure what they look like, but you know."

I was this close to walking over to him and saying, "I know where you can see some." Then twirl around slowly for him. "Take a goooooood look . . . because we go into hiding after 5:00."
But instead, Richard just looked back at me and tried hard to suppress some hearty laughter since he knows I'm mormon.

The West water trip was awesome. Richard told lots of stories about the history and folklore of the area and the whitewater was very exciting. I made sure to get everyone wet with large waves. As fun as guiding was, the are two points that stand out in my mind as hilarious. During the latter end of the trip the guests can jump out of the boats and float down the river in some mild rapids. Mom and Dad BOTH took on the challenge! I would watch them and then talk with Richard and then watch them some more. All around good times. At one point Mom and Dad were floating separate from each other. A few minutes later I wondered, Where is my Dad?? He had unknowingly drifted over toward a whirlpool. Which then promptly sucked him under.





He came out of it easily enough, but only after 10 seconds of bobbing, swirling, and gasping for air.

The next unexpected event was when mom had drifted in front of the raft. Seeing a 16 foot, large, floating, yellow-thingy coming at you must be terrifying be cause my Mom's reaction was to yell out and grab the nearest salt-and-pepper haired male floating by and proceed to climb on top of him in order to avoid being floated over.



Needless to say, the gentleman wasn't my dad. And wasn't happy about his almost drowning experience on the fearsome white water - not because of a rapid (he'll tell his friends), but because some lady was using him as a junglegym.
It's ok mom, I'm sure everybody does it.

The next day we went on a pretty skilled hike in the Firey Furnace at Arches National Park. Mom and Dad had to move their bodies in ways they haven't been moved in years just to get through the slots, narrows, and climb over caverns.

They were good troopers. Okay we all were. It was hot out there (Helloooo - Fiery Furnace!) and water doesn't stay cold forever.









The whole thing felt like a maze. Mike was our guide with the most experience since he'd been through before. . . but I caught him using a higher source.


Here are some cute poses.

























On Sunday, after taking Dad to the local movie museum, we drove over to a trail on the other side of town where there are dinosaur tracks imprinted on petrified mud. Dad thinks the whole thing is fake. You can see it yourself! Two prints of 3-toed feet above their heads.











On the walk back to the car, Mike, always the nature guide, starts telling us about a white bug you can find on cactus that native americans probably used for dyes. He found several on a bunch of cactus near by and called us over. "Hey Steve. take a look at this." He said as he squatted down to pick off a bug. We look over and notice a funny look on his face before he lightly jumps up and says "Ow."


He totally sat on the cactus behind him!! He pulled out a HUGE 3" needle, but there were tons of smaller ones still stuck to that behind of his. After making sure that he wasn't mortally wounded I couldn't help doubling over in huge fits of laughter. He had decidedly declined from driving us back home since he couldn't sit down. So, we stuffed him in the very back on all fours - the most comfortable position. Oh wow, I'm STILL laughing about this. The whole thing was hilarious! I love u!















Yeah, basically we just had lots of outdoor fun. I was a little worried we were running my parents into the ground with all the hours of activity. A couple times I knew they must have been getting tired because I knew I was! It's hard to keep up with my husband sometimes!

The Characters You Meet on the River!!

I know it's been almost a month since posting. Mike and I had a great week long vacation (the longest I've seen him since April!) at the beginning of the month which I'll have to get to in another post, because TODAY I want to talk about the characters I meet on the river!

I've had some funny moments on the river and thought I'd share about the time I was french kissed on the river, the nudity on the river, and plain ol' laziness on the river!

We've been experiencing EuroMania here in Moab. From the end of May and up to this point we've had most of our guests coming from (in order of frequency) France, Germany, Holland, England, Belgium, Spain, Sweden, Brazil . . . I'm multi-lingual now!! Okay so I only know about two or three words in some of those languages like "Go to left!, Stop!!, Swim here!" Anyway, not much representation from the home land. I blame it on gas prices.

So there's introduction to knew cultures and words (Like when the English say they need Lou, they don't mean a person - they want the bathroom please!! Where's the loo?? Yeah, that was a funny one my friend discovered the hard way.)


Then you're also exposed to cultural fashion and gestures . . . like the time I received a gracious french kiss from a man wearing a tiny speedo . . .

Yes. Clearly very proud of himself.

There really are good times to be had on the river. Some people are a little more open to "exposure". There's actually a designated spot for it. No, I've never hung out with naked people there, but sometimes you find yourself next to one without warning and if you're not careful you may become a nudist yourself!

Like the time I had all my guests swimming in the water as we drifted downstream. A rapid was coming up soon so one-by-one I pulled them back into the boat. The last one was an middle-aged, fun-loving guy who had probably played football in his younger years in high school - so a little on the big side. As I reached down to pull him in, my co-worker Richard in a boat next to me said "Oh, I've GOT to see this." and he lined up his boat directly behind mine to basically watch what he thought would be a slippery tug-of-war struggle.

With a count to 3 and large heave- ho, I pulled and leaned back as far as I could go and soon found that wasn't too hard! I had him mostly in the boat! But everyone was burst out in roars of laughter . . .
You know I don't think he really minded it that much, especially when his kids looked at me and said "It's okay, he's a plumber." Yikes.


The last time I was out on the river, I was guiding a paddle boat. Which means that everyone is paddling to make the boat go downstream. I used to like guiding this type of boat because it meant you got a break pulling all the wait on two heavy oars. Until this day. I was hired by Mike's river guide company Moki Mac to work on the Green River that day and was told the group was going to be from UNLV. That's Univ. of Nevada Las Vegas, so you'd imagine relatively in shape college students looking for a good time . . . NOT 50-65 year old, out-of -shape adults, looking for a nap!



They started off okay, but getting tired of paddling after 15 strokes is not going to get you anywhere. After the first hour I was really wondering why they had requested a paddle boat and was wishing I had the big oars just to get us to the end faster. By the third hour I was biting my lip from wanting to say things like "Uh, Cheryl, you have to PUT THE PADDLE IN THE WATER for it to do anything" OR "Susan, I know you said you don't like water and you don't like the sun, but since you're HERE, maybe you could just fake it a little!!" After we served them lunch, I actually heard these words, "I just ate a big lunch! This is too much work! I shouldn't have to do this." and put their paddle down. I was EXHAUSTED from trying to make to boat go with my one measly little paddle AND trying to coax the guests every 15 minutes to row just . . . a little . . . farther . . . c'mon guys, please? Just one paddle?

I Love My CTR Class!

So I teach Sunday School to the 4 & 5 year olds and it is always such a riot! These kids say WHATEVER comes to mind. One of my 5 year old students keeps asking me where my daughter is and made a card for her. Guess I'll have to hold on to that one for awhile.


Here's a pic of some of them. This Sunday we talked about how important is it to remember to say thank you. And then we made thank-you cards. I told them they should sign their names so whoever got them would know who it was from - and they both started writing out their names by themselves! What the?! They don't even go to kindergarten and they know how to write their names!! Is that normal? Because I was blown away.



I think I need to put down my usual novel and start reading some baby books or Motherhood for Dummies or something. I have a growing fear that I may be in over my head when it gets to be that time . . .